The way I see it...

by Thomas DeBrocke
(Calgary, Alberta)

Everything I know about Philosophy, I learned off the back of a Starbucks cup. I am the typical modern, western youth. I can't be bothered with reading the classics. Homer is a cartoon character, nothing more. "Kant" is frequently preceded by the word "I", and often followed shortly by the words "speak", and "good". And isn't "Plato" "Goofys'" dog?

Irregardlessly, I haven't the time to drift, lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the universe. I merely want an altruistic, easily recited one liner to make me feel, and sound as smart as I want others to believe I am.

Or perhaps a widely held political view to ensure that any debate I enter devolves into an agreement, instead of an argument. For if one were to press me on how I came to this conclusion they might discover that alas Starbucks cups are not big enough to fit hundreds of years of reasoning, and debate in so small an area.
So then, what, you may ask, is the solution to the apathy of my generation? Why the answer is elementary my dear friend. -Simply make larger coffee cups!

-Thomas DeBrocke
armchair philosopher
and Starbucks fan