Relationships: Why opposites don't always attract

By Adelaide Kwaning

What makes one relationship better than another? Why do some people seem to last forever and others stop loving each other after a year. Relationship experts are still trying to collect together all the pieces of a “good” relationship. But they have come across some clues.

Experts say that while opposites do attract when it come to having a long, fulfilling relationship where both parties are happy, it takes a lot more similarities than you would think.

According to these relationship experts, having similar political, religious, financial and sexual views are extremely important to a relationship.

Thankfully, we live in world where we are asked to tolerate other people’s beliefs and backgrounds and this is a great thing. No one should hate another person for being who they are. However, when it comes to building a life with someone, it’s not enough to simply be tolerant or respectful of your mate’s religious or political views.

Our beliefs are not just a small part of us. They aren’t characteristics that we can turn on and off. They’re how we look at the world, react to it and maneuver through it. It’s important when you’re looking for a long lasting relationship to be on the same page about those four aspects. Some may ask, “Why does it really matter, after all we love each other.”

Perhaps, and love is tolerance, but being on the same page as the one you’re with or interested in helps the two of grow you together rather than apart. You have a basic understanding of the direction you want your life to go. You understand each others needs and because they’re so similar you have pretty good idea of how to meet them.

This is why online dating sites like eHarmany and dating agencies do so well. They are able to pair you up with people who have similar wants, needs and opinions about how the world should operate.

Should you ask about the person’s religious, political, financial and sexual views when you are dating someone? I asked my friend Martin, a marriage counselor, and he says yes. Be upfront about who you are early on in the relationship.

I’m all for opposites attract, an introvert and an extrovert can get along great. But when it comes to your belief and values I’m going to have to agree with the experts on this one.

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