6 big factors for breakup

By Erik Michaels

These days it seems like the relationships we have with the ones we love are so fragile, it hardly takes anything to shatter them. The list of possible relationship killers is a mile long, but really it's not so bad. Most of the biggest culprits are avoidable or fixable, and in the interest of helping you out with any relationship troubles you may be having, I'm going to list off the "Big 6."

1) Cheating on your partner is a vicious and hurtful act that probably leads to the most broken hearts of anything ever done to cause a breakup. It destroys your partner's trust in you, and that sort of thing never comes back all the way, even if you do manage to overcome it. If you don't want cheating to demolish your relationship, don't cheat.

2) Your partner has emotions, and those emotions need support. Traditionally it's more women who complain of their guys not being sensitive enough to their feelings, but guys aren't stone cold rocks either. Always try to listen to your partner, and make sure that he/she knows quite well how much his/her feelings mean to you.

3) Everybody knows that no relationship goes on for very long without the occasional fight...but it's important to not get too fired up in these conflicts. A bad temper and refusal to calm down and listen is the absolute of all the WRONG ways to handle fights. Take things with as level a head as you can muster, and try to address real problems rather than petty squabbles and gripes. Make your fights productive, not destructive.

4) I know it's been glorified as one of the most hilarious "unpleasant situations" by TV and movies, but being stuck in a relationship where your partner is constantly looking over your shoulder and demanding to know every minute detail of what's going on at all times is an emotionally draining tax on the lover's soul. As much as your boyfriend or girlfriend may love you, acting this way will cause him/her to not be able to stand you. If you can't trust anyone, you're going to be alone...so try to loosen up on the reins.

5) Lack of spontaneity and fun can be as deadly to a relationship as any other problem, but in my opinion it's the most tragic of all the reasons a couple could break up. No relationship should be allowed to dissolve due to boredom and lack of interest...you two people love each other, so it's a horrible shame to think that you could separate simply from lack of "fun." Don't freak out and become clingy, but make time for each other and do things you both really enjoy. Keep the relationship alive by feeding it good times and warm feelings.

6) Your partner may not leave you because you constantly pop your shoulder or fidget with anything you can get your hands on, but a slew of constant annoying habits can really raise the pressure point in a relationship to the point of explosion. Usually it takes a lot of irritation of this kind to cause real damage, but for crying out loud try to get a hold of yourself. Everyone has a few annoying habits, but if they really bother your partner try to break yourself of them.

This list is by no means the end-all definition of everything that can hurt a relationship, but it covers the biggest offenders and can get you thinking in the right fashion to figure out whatever may be hurting YOUR relationship. If you're currently going through a nasty breakup yourself, thinking about these things and others like them could clue you in as to what's wrong with your relationship and even how to fix it and get your ex back.

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